Lets be real here

Okay, I'm just gonna jump right in....tomorrow is weigh day and I'm kinda freakin! I didn't do so hot this last week. Here are a few reasons why (now that I look back they are pretty lame excuses)
1- closing on our house (yay!!) stupid reason but I don't think this is the reason why I didn't do my best.
2- painting/moving day in and day out for 3 days. This means that I was at the new house for 10+ hours....do you think I was smart enough to pack my food? Nope... Gosh I'm a flipping idiot!! So the quickest (not smartest) thing I did was order from a local pizza joint and yes I ate like a whole box of cheese stix....gross! But they are so good!! As I'm eating this delicious, fattening, cheesy goodness I start to put myself down and feel guilty.  My mind starts to say "well you've screwed up for the day so just keep eating like shit" k I need to stop doing that! I'm never going to get skinny and love the way I look if I keep eating unhealthy, fatty, processed food!
Okay, back to more reasons...
3- not eating breakfast. This is a hard one for me.... I usually eat oatmeal or have a yogurt, something quick and easy. But trying to get as much done with my house meant I woke up and left without breakfast. When I eat breakfast I feel better and tend to think a little better about my food choices.
4- didn't track everything! Um not a good idea to not track. Actually it's a horrible idea to not track your food.

Today I tried my best. Okay maybe not my best but I did track everything that I ate.
So tomorrow is weigh day and yes I'm nervous, if I didn't lose anything I just pray that I didn't gain! I hate that this is a constant struggle. I hate that I hate the way I look. I hate my double chin and my fat ass. I hate it all. I hate that my husband loves me even though I look this way.
 Miss B made a comment this morning that really broke my heart.
"Mom, do you have a baby in your belly?"
"No, just fat. Thanks Hun...."
"Well it looks like you have a baby in your belly."
"Um...I don't. Please let's stop talking about my belly."

I know she is just being sweet, and I know she doesn't understand what she is saying actually hurts my feelings. So I need to not take it so hard but I do.

When I post tomorrow please don't be upset or negative about what I do or don't lose. Lets be really here, I probably gained. But there is always next week and better choices to be made.