Update on the weight loss

Well folks, after more hard work and determination, I have hit another milestone in my weight loss journey! I actually weighed in yesterday at 156.4, blew my 157.8 goal right out the flipping window! Weighed this morning just to see how much weight I'd lost in a day's time (I have been working my big ol' booty off at the gym HARD) and guess what the scale said? 155!!!! Guys I freaked out with joy for just a slight minute. I'll come back to why in just a second....photo time!

A look at the beginning to where I am at currently. 

Front view. Looking much better! 

Side view

I was more impressed with the first ten pounds lost. Technically this is 11 pound difference but hey, (yes I love Duck Dynasty and use Si-lingo often), if you completely dodge the 10 pound goal and go straight for 11 pounds lost....who's complaining? Not me! 

Now back to why I only let myself get excited for just a minute. Before I started this blog I weighed in at a whopping 180 pounds. (That may not be huge to some people but for me, that is the biggest I have been and I didn't like what I looked like. So I am not trying to be offensive to anyone by saying if you weigh 180 pounds you are HUGE. What I am saying is when I weighed 180 I was HUGE). Anyways, I needed motivation so I started to blog about my journey when I weighed 177.8. My total weight loss as of today has been -25 pounds! Kind of a big deal right? I have 30 more pounds to go to hit my goal weight and believe me, I will get there!! 

So I'm seeing the number on the scale 155 and I jump for joy and than I think to myself "why is it that I feel the same that I did 25 pounds ago? Why do I look in the mirror and see this huge, overweight, unhappy person? Shouldn't I look at myself and notice a difference? Shouldn't I feel different?"

Why am I not feeling any different? Why do I still have these negative feelings toward myself? Guys, I am trying to sort all this out. I realize that being overweight may not be my issue exactly, it may only be a small part of the problem.  But for some reason I felt 25 pounds ago that if I could just lose weight that all would be well and I would be completely and utterly happy about myself and who I am. I have found this may not be entirely true. Has anyone else had these same feelings? How did you cope with them?

On a more positive note, I have noticed that I enjoy spending more time with the kids, I can keep up with them both and I am not getting tired as easily as before. I have also noticed that as a family we have been more happy.
(If mama ain't happy, ain't nobody happy). 

August 28th is the final weigh in for the Biggest Loser Contest that my work has been doing. As of this week I am in second place for percent of weight lost and I am in first place for inch loss!
I will update with the final results at that time.
On August 29th I will be starting AdvoCare's 24 Day Challenge. I will update more often with how I am doing throughout the challenge.  In a previous post I talked about how I love how Spark makes me feel. I just feel good. I don't feel overly energized, jittery, or a crash later. I just feel good. What's wrong with feeling good?

If anyone has some input on to why I am still having these negative feeling towards myself and what I can do to resolve these issues please don't hesitate to comment. I am needing some advice. Because I am pleased, thrilled actually, that I have lost a good chunk of weight, but hate that these feelings are still surfacing when I figured they would disappear with the weight.